Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What’s wrong with anti-imperialism?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why is there so much free porn on the internet?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What are your political and economic beliefs? How did you form them, especially in comparison to those who hold opposing views?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is the most craziest dream you ever had?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What is the cost of living in Sweden as a family?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What factors may contribute to intelligent individuals identifying as Republican rather than Democrat in the United States today?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t cotton to rapists

Can one still satisfy the desires of Black women with a more discreet endowment?"?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do some people admire Latin American cultures but not want to be from or live in those countries?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If sea levels were rising, wouldn't the acreage of coastal salt marshes increase? Are they?

I can read

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What is the scariest thing that ever happened in your life?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

If Delta Force soldiers wanted to form a criminal gang, how dangerous would they be with all their equipment (explosives, rifles, vests, night vision goggles)?

I see through liars

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

Can anyone show a photo with a penis in their anus?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Do you think the number of sissies is on the rise?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes